This week, we have a special guest blogger…Breezy! You ModFem attendees will remember her as our worship leader:) She will be popping in from time to time on the blog, so be sure to thank her for that! Now, on to her post:
“Long before we even meet the man we want to see at the altar on our wedding day, our mothers are our very first “for better or for worse.” In return, we do our best to honor and obey them. Whether we’re cooperating or not, they pour their lives into guiding us. This usually entails them giving us heaps of advice on our choices (even if we haven’t had the chance to make them yet).
There’s one subject of such particular importance that it can keep them going for hours…days…weeks…indeed, our entire adolescence. It can be summed up with just four letters:
I am 28 years old, celebrating my 8th wedding anniversary, and my mother is still talking to me about boys. At this stage, we’ve transitioned to men, but the point is the same. She will never ever stop giving me her best advice on the male species. Why? Because she knows how frustrating, and amazing, and irritating, and glorious guys can be. She fusses over my love life because she loves me.
For more than a decade now my “man-space” (a term coined by Dowling Payne in this fabulous article) has been occupied by the man whom I am blessed to call my husband. My mom has accepted his permanent residence in my man-space, yielding her keeping of my heart to him.
What, exactly, is man-space? It’s that portion of every female brain dedicated to the boy/man/guy who occupies her thoughts. According to Ms. Payne’s mother, every girl’s man-space is like a five-star hotel located somewhere in her hypothalamus. Spending the afternoon getting to know a guy is done in the lobby or the cafe of your brain. Inviting him into your man-space—your suite—is a serious step. It’s intimate and special. If you let him move in, ladies, he should be the Raja to your Taj Mahal. The King Louis XIV to your Versailles. The Prince William to your Buckingham Palace.
Our mothers are insistent on us guarding our hearts because of this simple truth: any long-term guy who checks out (or gets kicked out) of your man-space will inevitably do two things—leave baggage behind and take a few of your treasures. Give over the keys to your man-space carefully. Not every guy who makes your heart flutter is meant to take up residence. Only one man is intended by God to stay.
This Mother’s Day, celebrate your mom. She is the one who first held you, stood by you in good times and bad, cared for you in sickness and health, first loved you and still cherishes you. How does your mother know this? She’s been there herself. And she’s with you in it now, giving each guy you invite into the lobby of your brain a careful once over. Let her be your doorman.”