Good Grief

Psalms 77:2 In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted.

Dealing with grief can make or break a person. I’m sure you’ve heard “everyone deals with grief in their own way.” And that may be the case, but it’s important to not be destructive during those “dealings.” So how do we have “good” grief?

Today I lost a really good friend, Teresa. She was THE most positive person that I have ever known. She has been battling cancer for over 5 years, but not once was she ever negative. She was so vibrant and full of life, even in her weaker moments. Teresa was a huge inspiration. I take comfort in knowing that she is now with Jesus and living a much better life that she ever would have had here on Earth. She is the winner here, not us.

Psalms 116:15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

Sure, I have moments of selfishness, when I think to myself:
-why now?
-all she wanted to do was go home, why couldn’t she just have that one last wish??
-we had plans…

But then I remember, it’s not about ME. It’s about Jesus. And praise God that Teresa suffers no more. Praise the Lord that she doesn’t have to be subjected to the evils of this world as we do. She is so much better off than the rest of us. I know that Teresa is resting in an abundance of peace. We need not fear for her, for she is just fine in the arms of Jesus. We need to fear for us, for if your time were to come tomorrow, would you be in the arms of Jesus??

Teresa lived her life to the fullest…does that mean that she traveled all over the world, met famous people, etc? No. It means that she was happy no matter where she was, made friends with anyone she came across, and could delight in the simple things of life. When I found out this morning of her passing, I was ok. I can’t say that I had fully prepared myself for it, as I don’t think anyone really can. I kept busy this morning, trying not to dwell on it, knowing that it hadn’t really hit me yet. This afternoon, however, was full of tears as I remembered the good times, looked at pictures, and just thought about how hard this is for her family.

So how do you deal with grief? My suggestions for “good” grief:

1. Try to remember the good times instead of dwelling on the times to be missed.

2. Don’t shut your family and friends out, instead seek comfort in their presence. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to pour your heart out, although that can sometimes help.

3. Seek comfort in Jesus. Read his Word, talk to him, pray for the others who are grieving with you.

4. Use the bad for good. Find some good that has come or can come from the situation.

Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Teresa may not be here physically, but her spirit is really being shown through all of those who are remembering her life. She is sitting on my desk right now…beside me, in a frame that she painted for me:) We are laughing and goofing off…cause that’s what we did together.

This is from 2012:


This is a photo I shot of her in June 2013:


Teresa, I will miss you…and always think of you when I’m location scouting for photo sessions–you were always so good at that! And when I’m eating mexican food:)

See you soon, sweet girl!